3 Years in Australia

I have debated writing about our 3 years in Australia. The day came and went and I didn’t even notice. My husband may have noticed but it wasn’t something that we discussed or analysed. The 3 year anniversary of being here was just another day in our Australian life. With this in mind I didn’t know if it was necessary to write this. But then I remembered how I felt when we were still waiting to immigrate and after we had arrived. I spent hours reading about other people’s experiences, in an attempt to glean how the “future me” would feel. I wanted to know that I would be okay on the other side. And so, I realised that I needed to write this. For anyone who is where I was but also for me, for me to take a minute to realise how far we have come.

If you’re reading this to find out whether we’re grateful we made the decision to move, you don’t need to read any further. We are beyond grateful we are here. You only need to follow AllThingsMomSydney on Facebook or Instagram to see me gushing about this life. Even at our lowest points we still ‘kan nie klaar nie’. We are happy, we are grateful. I feel that we were always meant to be here.

 

3 Years in Australia

The previous years

Year One

If you don’t know already, each year I’ve written on our journey. For our first year here, I wrote a series of posts on how we came to be here. There were four posts that set out the difficulties in each step: the deciding to leave South Africa, choosing Australia, leaving South Africa and then settling here.

At the time of writing those four posts, our move was still new. Only a year in, all those emotions of leaving were really raw. I can say, undoubtedly, that while I still long for friends and family, those negatives are made easier by the feeling that we have started our lives here. We are now passed the adventure (and uncertainty) stage. We are firmly here. I know what cheese to buy and where to take the kids for a quick and easy dinner out. I can drive around without my GPS in a number of suburbs and not get lost.

 

Year Two

When we hit 2 years in Australia, we didn’t have the same sense of achievement that we had with our first year anniversary. We still made note of the date and talked about it but it was more as a realisation of it being already another year that had passed.

Year one wasn’t awful but we did have one or two personal experiences that made it hard for our family. These experiences would have happened anywhere, it was just that we were in the throws of a new country that made it a litter harder. Year two was so much easier in many respects.  You can read about that here if you would like.

 

Now 3 Years in Australia

It blows my mind that we have been here for three years. Mainly because we have now reached the point where both kids have lived here longer than they did in South Africa. In many ways that makes me sad.

 

They have developed these funny little accents and they don’t understand what I’m talking about when I say takkies or robots. The two little monsters have even decided that they don’t like boerewors…

And my little girl sees an Australian flag and calls it “our flag”.

 

While I am really happy that they are integrating, and view this as home and this life as their normal, I am a little sad that they don’t feel South African. I do however constantly remind them that they were born in South Africa and that is where their family is but I’m not sure how long this will be relevant for them. How long until that this their ‘history’ and not their roots.

 

As for my husband and I… I’ve started studying to convert my South African law degree, a thing I never thought I would do. And my wonderfully strong husband has started a new job. In both those respects i think you can see that we feel settled enough to take on new challenges. That surely is a good thing.

 

The best part about 3 Years in Australia

 

Absolutely the best part about being here for this length of time is that familiarity is back.

I remember a close friend saying to me that the worst part about moving is that you are completely foreign to everyone and everything is foreign to you. No one knows you or your story. To everyone else you are just a face in a crowd. There is no pre-existing connection.

Well, 3 years in Australia and I now bump into people I know in the supermarket. Driving down the road, I wave to fellow school mums. I remember the first time I saw someone I knew in the mall, just randomly. I waved and smiled from ear to ear thinking how normal it felt. And best of all it was a fellow South African, from PE no less.

 

 

But what about South Africa

Generally, I’m not about looking back. In  my books, you make a decision and move forward. But immigration does often entail both push and pull factors.

 

I think I may have been a bit bitter when we left South Africa. Reading my posts on The Decision to Leave South Africa and C’mon South Africa, I can see that now. I had this overwhelming fear for my children’s safety. Granted the government and I were not friends, we had a strong dislike for one another and they knew where we lived. Something certain members of local government liked to remind me of. There was so much that I knew from actively litigating against and trying to engage with them that I was very very angry. I hated what had become of the country when there was so much potential in the people and the spirit of the country.

 

That bitterness isn’t in me anymore. I’m just sad. Watching South African rugby, I realise I still love the people. I would still love to be there and be involved in the work I was doing in SA. Working with people, for people. When I think of South Africa now, it is with sadness. Like when you see someone who you knew years ago who was brimming with potential but now they’re old and its been wasted. It just makes me sad. I hold no disdain. I just hope that it will change, that things will improve.

 

We can’t go back, we have come too far. My children are  becoming Australian and they are taking us with it.

 

Even now, as I write this, in a café I like, I can see someone I must just chat to quickly. This Australian life goes on, and we’re going with it.

 

♦

 

This isn’t a long post, and it definitely isn’t insightful but I had to share it with you.

I am well aware that immigration and Australia isn’t for everyone. But for us, when we made the decision we knew we were making the right decision and that has continued to show itself to us every day. Thank you for coming on this journey with us and if you are contemplating the move and needs some help or tips on what cheese to buy, please don’t hesitate to reach out.