Kindy, Kindergarten, the first year of big school, whatever you call it, it’s a monumental year. There is so much change in such a short amount of time that when you look back it’s a completely different child to the one you sent off on the first day.
The change is so immense that it is really only comparable to the change you see in them in their first or second year of life. It’s just phenomenal. I have been blown away!
This is a really personal post. Yes, I’m going to explain what is really interesting about Kindergarten and list some ideas on how to prepare for Kindergarten but this is also quite personal reflection.
This is a reflection of our experience.
I can’t help but look at how my son progressed this year and also an ode to him because I am so immensely proud of how he has grown in so many different ways. I’ve added a short letter to him at the bottom of this post, just in case he one day reads this. I want him to know where he was at this point in his life.
If you’re reading this because you’ve got a not-so-little-anymore little one who is going off to school this year, I’ve added a few things that I’ve learnt that I wish someone had told us.
Him
How this child has grown!!
It feels like my 5 year old gained 3 years in the progression from 5 years old to 6 years old. I am sure the same rings true for children who start at age 4.
Even just by looking at him you can sense a change, a maturity, yes there is the physical growth but that pales in comparison to how he has developed as a complex, intelligent little person.
You will be amazed at how much they learn and retain. You won’t really know on a daily basis because 1) they won’t tell you and 2) you’re busy juggling so many new things that you won’t get a chance to take stock. So, once you look back, after a term or during a long weekend, you’ll see how far they’ve come
Academically the learning is impressive but at the same time they are developing all their social skills. Yes, they would have been working on those during pre-school or day care but here it is a) in a controlled environment where they have to stay seated and maintain their composure b) here is a higher expectation and c) it’s 5 days a week. It’s tiring and they are doing it all the time. You know how it feels as an adult to have guests to stay for an extended period and you have to be on your best behaviour all the time well that’s the pressure on these little ones starting out.
It explains why they lose their cool as soon as they get in the car after school 🙂
Me
For starters, I cannot believe I am old enough to have a child in Kindergarten. There are times when I enjoy a good 90s rap song full blast in the car and I forget that I am a 30 something year old mother of 2 in a mom-mobile.
But that is just me! The school mom version of me is a whole different ball game. And it’s hard. It’s a completely new game, with new rules. New expectations. New emotions.
You start out the year and I thought I would be a wreck, completely overwhelmed. But I wasn’t. The lead up was hard, the worry and concern. You worry that they may not make friends, or may not be able to remember where the bathroom is. So many things are running through your brain. Then you also have the worry about packing and remembering their lunchbox, labelling all the clothes and praying that you’ve got the school uniform right. Oh, the nerves!
Then the first day arrives…
As I said, I thought that I would be a ball of emotions on that first day of school. That I wouldn’t be able to hold myself back from parking outside the school trying to get a glimpse of him. Like a crazed paparazzi stalking its prey.
But it’s another day.
It’s another day when you get up and make sure your kids are fed and you try stop them arguing. It’s just another day that you have to be on top of your mom game. Getting everyone dressed, getting to a new venue on time, with everything you need. It’s the same stuff that you do every day and you go into mom mode. Stressing about finding a parking, telling your toddler you won’t carry them but then landing up carrying them. Answering questions about things you drive past. It’s all the same. Except deep down you know it’s a different day but you’re trying so hard to stay cool.
Even as you walk to the school gates, a completely new world, you’re still in normal mom mode. You’ve got to be polite, greet people all the while trying not drop shoes or bags or anything important along the way.
It’s only when you turn your back and leave them there that you realise how tremendous this day is. That’s when you start to cry. The big ugly tears type of crying.
Your little one left there, so brave in a new environment. And in our case, with no one he knows. Your mind and heart is blown away by the bravery and courage.
They are such strong little fighters and so resilient.
As you watch them get up and get dressed every morning, it is the new normal. And they adapt so well. They generally take it in their stride and walk in every day ready to tackle that day. It’s really impressive when you look back over it.
I think this chance to reminisce is so important and can make you quiet emotional. Well that’s my justification for crying in every school assembly I’ve been to. Seeing my son, in his uniform, singing the Australian National Anthem gets me every time!
What we’ve learnt
I’ve also learnt a whole lot this year. Things I was completely oblivious of until I experienced it. I thought the tricky bit would be lunchboxes and while it caused a lot of frustration, I discovered so much about parenting a child at this stage.
There should be books on this sort of thing!!
Here is a synopsis on what I discovered about Kindergarten:
They will be unsure on their first day but they will take their guidance from you. Be cool!! Try not panic, they’ll be watching how you manage this.
They don’t need to know how to tie their shoe lace but they do need to know how to open their lunch box. Make them try opening the lunch box and whatever containers or packets you send.
School is exhausting. Try not schedule any new after school activities or sports events in the first term. If you do, just don’t schedule it for a Friday afternoon, they will be dead on their feet and grumpy by this stage.
When you pick them up, come bearing gifts. Food gifts. They get so hungry and are sometimes too busy playing to eat so they will take it out on you. Keep their mouths full as soon as they get in the car, that way you can’t get moaned at.
Try not ask a thousand questions when they get in the car. I really really struggle with this.
When you do start asking questions – don’t ask close ended questions. If you ask a question where the answer can be “yes”, “no” or “fine” that is the answer you will get!
Have faith. Your child will learn, even if it is at their own pace. They may not be at the same level as the child next to them or their friend but they will get there!
A Letter to My Boy
My dear darling boy On the off chance that you find this and read this in years to come, I want you to know how immensely proud we are of you. Little did we know when we first met you, how your brain would just amazed us. And it does more so every year. Your ability to take things apart physically and mentally and understand how they work is just incredible. We have been so proud to watch you take these skills into the classroom and expand upon your intuitive understanding. This is one of your talents that we talk about! Then there are the things you are not so great at that need some real learning. I am sorry you hate them my love and I would love to not to have to force you to do this but it’s for a reason, I promise. But, Spanish, I’m not sure about Spanish. I’m really looking forward to see how you get through Spanish 🙂 On the other hand, sight words, that I understand. And I know you understand why you need them even if they’re not your favourite. We have watched you preserve. Jeepers, how you hated those sight words so much in the beginning but you persevered and before we knew it you were reading us your readers. Without us knowing how, you learnt how to add and you were talking about multiplying and infinity. And your love of science… everything that was remotely related to science made you happy. Making elephant toothepaste, slime, anything you could experiment or tinker with. You would tell anyone who asked that science was your favourite subject. And remember your insane Science party in your first year of school. We love that you love this all! The only thing that made us prouder has been watching you be kind, polite and respectful. Just like Charlie in the first chapter book you read with dad. We love you and are so proud of you. Both of us love you so much more than you could know. Even when you drive me nuts because you don’t stop talking or challenging me. All those little parts make up who you are and we love all of it in you! Love you Mills. P.S I’ve just read this to you and you want me to mention your love of soccer. Love that you made me do that! xx
